The Road of Excess Leads to the Palace of Wisdom

Certain moments in humanity's passage on this earth have demanded extremity.  We have the Pyramids of Giza, the Burj Khalifa, and the Hummer.  Artist, poet and Christian mystic William Blake recognized this most human of conditions when he wrote the words to today's blog title (okay--he didn't write it for my blog, I just borrowed it), and Susan Sarandon made it memorable to many in a context of sex and baseball.   I think it's a good opening to express the extremity of our next attack on cuisine, for today the world will know what it is to have too much bacon.  Can we eat 6 bacon dishes and NOT be nauseous.  Can we even enjoy it?  I love a challenge.

First we have to decide on what kind of bacon to explore.  By definition, bacon is the salt-cured fatty meat of our porcine friends.  It may be smoked or not.  If smoked, it may be ready to eat.  Therefore, Turkey Bacon, while also unpleasant, does not qualify for bacon.  Canadian Bacon may be back bacon, but more often is simply cured and processed ham.  (As a side note, when you move to Toronto, and you get there late, and you need to eat, but it's too late and you're too tired to go out for dinner so you want to order a pizza and you really like Canadian bacon and pineapple, do NOT order Canadian bacon.  They call it ham.  Curiously, however, when asking for bacon, Canadians ask for American-style bacon.  Silly Canadians.)  I've also heard of lamb bacon.  Intriguing, but still not technically bacon.  I'm staying American and with pork for today's experiment.

Bacon Steak
Back Bacon
Belly Bacon
Bacon Jam  Yes, that's right, I said Bacon Jam.  My sister in law thought I needed Bacon Jam.  I didn't know I did.  You can find out more here.

I went to my favorite little neighborhood butcher shop to examine the possibilities. Wally's Quality Meats and Delicatessen.  Great guys who know their meat products and take pride in presenting the best.  They are always happy to take the time to answer questions and give good advice.  Yes, it is usually (but not always) more expensive than King Soopers, but it's worth it.  Try them out and let me know what you think. 

I asked them to give me the differences and show me their selection of bacon.  Belly bacon is higher in layered fat.  Back bacon is considerably leaner.  A bacon steak (or what I'm calling bacon steak) is simply a bacon slab from the belly of a pig left uncut.  You can ALWAYS ask your local butcher to cut your bacon to order.  Thinner cuts will cook up crispier.

In the morning aftermath of our bacon foray I can happily report that we are all still alive, and perhaps more importantly, that we all still love bacon.  Each dish was perfect in its own way.

The evening's dinner (and thank you to our friends for providing wine, a WONDERFUL potato cassarole, and delicious brownies and ice cream):

Bacon Barley Soup
3/4 cup uncooked, chopped Bacon
1 Leek, greens removed, chopped
1 medium Parsnip, peeled, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
1 small Rutabaga, peeled, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
6 cups unsalted Vegetable Broth (homemade, use the greens from the leaks and the ends of the root veggies, if you like)
1/2 cup Barley, uncooked
Salt and Pepper, to taste

In a large saucepan, brown the bacon on medium high heat, until most of the fat has been rendered.  Drain the fat, reserving 1 tablespoon.  Add the leak and continue to stir until it starts to turn translucent.  Add the remaining vegetables and saute, adding the reserved bacon fat as needed.  Stir and cook for about 5 minutes.  Pour in the broth and let come to a slow boil.  Reduce the heat and let simmer until the veggies have softened but are still hard in their centers.  Add the barley and salt and pepper to taste (better to add it here after you know how salty your bacon is).  Let simmer until the barley is cooked and starts to open up.

Back Bacon with Grilled Pineapple & Ginger
1 fresh Pineapple, ends and skins removed
2 slices Back Bacon per person
1 large tuber of Ginger, peeled, shaved

Section the pineapple length-wise into 4 even wedges and remove the core.  Grill over medium hot coals turning and checking regularly.  (The sugars can burn very quickly, but the juices may keep it from burning hardly at all.  Best to watch it closely until you know what you're dealing with.  If it does burn on one side, no worries; simply cut off the burnt stuff.)

When pineapple has been evenly roasted, remove to a cooler part of the grill and lay your bacon slices over the heat.  When sizzling on one side, flip the bacon and layer a thin shaving of ginger and a slice from one of your pineapple wedges.  When the bacon has become slightly crispy, remove from the heat and serve.

Chicken Roulade with Bacon Jam
2 boneless, skinless Chicken Breasts (per 4 people)
Bacon Jam
1/2 cup grated Swiss Cheese

Pound the chicken breasts out to a thin cutlet on a length of plastic wrap.  Spread the bacon jam and sprinkle the cheese evenly over the cutlet saving about 1 inch from one of the edges.  Starting at the edge opposite the naked edge, roll the cutlet toward the naked edge, firming the roulade as you go.  Wrap it tightly in the plastic wrap and refrigerate for a least a 1/2 hour or until the meat has firmed to the touch.  Remove from the plastic wrap, slice into 1 inch widths and cook in a skillet set to medium high, about 3-4 minutes per side.  Let cool, covered, for 5 minutes, then serve. 


Sauteed Kale with Walnuts
1 bunch of Kale, stems removed, rinsed, drained and coarsely chopped
2 tablespoons Bacon Fat
Salt and Pepper
1/2 cup Walnuts, chopped

In a very large skillet, melt the bacon fat.  Quickly add the kale--it WILL sizzle, pop and steam.  BE CAREFUL!  Using long handled tongs, toss the kale until evenly wilted and some bits turn crispy.  (The whole thing will be done in about 90 seconds to 3 minutes.  Don't walk away.)  Add the nuts, toss again, remove from the pan into your serving dish.  Keep warm until served.

Bacon Steak
1 slab of Belly Bacon
1/2 cup of Dark Brown Sugar
1/2 teaspoon Salt
2 tablespoons mild Red Chili Powder
1/2 teaspoon grated Lemon Zest

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Mix the sugar, salt, chili powder and lemon zest and combine thoroughly.  Place bacon steak onto a cooling rack in a baking pan, fat-side up.  Rub the chili mixture all over the fat side, covering uniformly. 

Bake for 45 minutes or until the chili rub is bubbling in the center of the steak.  (Internal temp of the steak should be about 165 degrees.)  Move to serving tray and carve at the dinner table for your guests!  (This tastes like the most wonderful and tender short ribs.  I loved it!)

Chocolate Chili Bacon Bars

16oz Chocolate Chips (I used Milk Chocolate for this batch)

6 strips of Bacon, crispy and crumbled to fine bits

3 tablespoons Chimayo Red Chili Powder (more or less to taste)

1/4 stick of Cinnamon, ground

In double boiler, melt the chocolate.  Stir in the bacon and chili. 

Pour out onto large piece of parchment paper, and spread even and about 1/4 inch high and a rectangular shape.  While still hot, shave or grind fresh cinnamon until the bar is well covered.

Let cool, score with a knife and break apart.  Store in the refrigerator for up to 4 days.

Dinner Tonight

Asparagus in a Cream Sauce over Pasta

Olive Oil
1 Leek, greens discarded, diced
1 clove Garlic, minced
1 cup chopped Asparagus
10 medium Button Mushrooms, chopped
3/4 teaspoon Salt
1/2 teaspoon Pepper
3/4 cup Skim Milk
3/4 cup Heavy Cream
1/2 cup Walnuts, chopped
Cooked Pasta (your choice)

Sautee the leak and garlic over medium heat with a pinch of salt until soft and they start to turn translucent.  Add the asparagus, mushrooms and walnuts.  Continue to stir until the asparagus STARTS to get tender.  Add more salt and pepper, to tase.

Reduce the heat to medium low.  Poor in the milk and cream.  Stirring occasionally, let simmer until the milk is reduced to the consistency you like. 

Spoon over warm pasta and sprinkle with a grated dry, hard cheese.

If Not Bugs, Then what?

Last week's blog seemed to generate some very visceral reactions in my audience. A few were supportive, many more had an "Ewwww!" sort of response, but it was all about the bugs!  Even our local fish-wrap, the Westminster Window, wrote us up as tasters.  Well, in honor of Earth Day on April 22, I want to dig a little deeper into the sustainable food sources in the backyard. 
(Author's Note: I know that everytime someone opens their yapper about "recycling" this or "sustainable" that, the conversation spirals downward to preachy elitism.  The cars have become pretentious, the jargon has become pretentious, the shopping has become pretentious.  Unassuming has become the new pretentious.  Rubber bracelets and bicycle chain jewelry is eco-fashion?  In my day we called that punk rock.  Anyway, I'm trying to have fun in addition to being educational.  Take it for what it's worth.)

Most basic:  weeds.  You don't really even need a backyard for this one.  This time of year, here in Colorado, many tender shoots of edible plants sprout up all over the place. Sourdock, Dandelions (below), Wild Asparagus, Cattails, and more, all a short walk from our home.  (Again, I recommend using caution when harvesting wild plants.  Know what you're eating (good identification) and know what's been sprayed on it.  If there is the possibility of pesticide or insecticide, it's best to leave it alone.)  Think about how much fun it would be to get off the beaten path, leave the noise and exhaust fumes of the roadways, get some well-deserved sunshine and exercise and harvest your dinner all at the same time?  A little dorky?  Too crunchy-granola hippy for you?  Perhaps, but far less so than your annual visit to the Renaissance Festival.  Or Boulder.  (You know who you are!)

Fruits on trees and shrubs.  From early summer to late autumn, fruit of every kind can be found everywhere in the neighborhood.  On our little slice of suburbia, we have Raspberries, Sour Cherries and Gooseberries.  Our backyard neighbor has Apples.  A two minute walk from here and we can have big juicy Crab Apples.  I know that Grapes, Peaches, Apricots and more can thrive in our climate. And anyone who has fruit trees is more than happy to let you pick from the over-hanging branches that escape their yard--but it's always polite to ask first.  Offer them a little of what you're cooking up and you may make a new friend!

Backyard gardens.  Little windowbox herb gardens, the classic whiskey barrel tomato plants, Victory Gardens.  All have their place in the happy kitchen.  As a matter of fact, in many of our greatest American legends and lore, the home's garden figures prominently as a symbol of industriousness, generosity and optimism.  The legends of the first Thanksgiving celebrate the autumn harvest.  Known for his magnanimity, Johnny Appleseed began in his own backyard before heading out across our young nation.  Started by Eleanor Roosevelt during World War II, and recreated by Michelle Obama in 2009, The White House Kitchen Garden embodies ideals our leaders want to model for our country.

In our garden we have Broccoli, Carrots, Rutabagas, Swiss Chard, Cabbage and Sunflowers started with a couple of types of Tomatoes and Squash planned.  We also several have pereneal herbs: Mint, Lemon Balm, Sage, Thyme, Oregano, Parsley, Rosemary and Chives. 

So below are recipies and a guide to grow potatoes.

Dandelion Greens in Salad
Pick dandelion greens before the blossoms go to seed.  Wash them thoroughly as you would any leafy vegetable from the garden and discard anything getting too close to the root and turning pink.  If the leaves are exceptionally long, tear in half.   Toss in a salad as bitter green to adds depth and variety.


Cattails Braised and Glazed

8 stalks of Cattails, greens and outermost flesh removed (about 4-6 inches long)
Olive Oil
Salt & Pepper
1/4 cup Balsamic Vinegar
1/4 cup SugarPick cattails while they are young.  You should be able to grab the plant 6-12 inches from the ground and pull gently, but firmly straight up to harvest easily.  Discard all but the tender hearts at the base of the plant.  Make the glaze.  In a small sauce pan combine the sugar and balsamic vinegar.  Cook on medium heat, stirring frequently.  Reduce to 1/2.  Cover and remove from heat.Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Rinse the cattails well and split lengthwise.  Place in ovenproof pan, cutside up.  Drizzle with olive oil and season with salt and pepper.  Cover and cook until the oil in the pan is hot, then reduce the heat to 250 degrees and cook for 5 minutes longer.  Remove the cover and brush on the glaze.  Cook, uncovered, in the oven until tender, about 10 minutes.

Trashcan Potatoes
This one comes to you courtesy of my Mom who got it from someone who got it from someone else who got it from Tammy.  Tammy who, you ask?  That's a wonderful question.  I'm glad you asked.  I have no idea, so I am going to guess the Great Great Grandaughter of Johhny Appleseed, who, in a fit of rebellion, left the apple franchise and started La Pomme de Terre business instead.  Or maybe not. 

TRASH CAN POTATOES
Get a clean plastic trash can. (having on wheels would help as it will get heavy)
Put 3-4 large holes in the bottom for drainage.
Put broken pieces of pottery (or even coffee filters) over the holes to keep the soil from getting out.
Put in 6"-8" of soil in the bottom of the can.
Cut up a potato, having each piece be 1"-2" in size and having one "eye" each. Put these on the soil, spacing 4"-6" apart.
(Tammy starts with one in the center of the can first)
(you can get organic potatoes at City Market, and even look for the "Fingerling" potatoes.)
(If you get regular potatoes from the market they might be sprayed so they don't sprout, or just have pesticides sprayed on them. Best to get organic. )
Cover the potato pieces with 4"-6" of soil.
Keep the soil moist.
When leaves just pop up through he soil, add 6" more soil.
Keep doing this as the leaves pop up until the soil is about 3" from the top of the can so that there is room for watering.
Water every 2-3 days.


In July or August when the vines turn yellow it is time to harvest.
Put the can in a bed where you would want the soil to go. Dump it over and see all of the potatoes that fall out. Watch for all sizes.
Tammy got about 20# of potatoes out of one trash can.

New Horizons and Common Grounds

"The role of the artist is exactly the same as the role of the lover: If I love you I have to make you aware of things you wouldn't ordinarily see."   --James Baldwin

There are so many things that make me happy that one could confuse me with a pure simpleton, but in all honesty, the littlest things DO bring me joy.  Biting the ears off a chocolate bunny, sipping good whiskey, smoking a good cigar and laughing with good friends.  Those are the kind of things that bring joy to life.  And then there is the adventure of expanding horizons.

Today was a perfect day.  Before I dashed off, I tended to the budding Victory Garden on the dining room table,  worked in the morning (nothing new for a Saturday and I love my clients), then my Beloved and I went to the Butterfly Pavilion to watch a cooking demonstration.  Sushi for lunch then home for a cigar and bourbon (whiskey--see above) on the back deck. 

Today was slightly unusual in a couple of respects, however. 

First, there is the concept of the Victory Garden. From its noble beginnings, today it often implies self-sufficiency and frugality.  Indeed, those are my specific intentions.  I know everything is organic and a measure of pride from the work of my own hands.  I love to save money on the vegetables I won't be buying.  I love the depth of flavors of home-grown vegetables.  And seeing life spawn under the earth and wriggle into existence presents itself as a metaphor of rebirth.  "He who has seeds, has Spring."  (Ben Franklin)  In the last blog entry, I made mention that we want to eat better.  What could be better for the body and soul than to have produced your own produce?

But the second important difference of the day, we engaged in entomophagy.  Quite literally, the eating of bugs. David George Gordon, "The Martha Stewart of the Bug World" or in his words, "The Emeril of Entomophagy" (I think he made that one up while we were there) presented a wonderfully charming tour of food and creepy-crawlies.  He begins by inviting kids to join him up front and sit on the floor.  (He and I agree on the nature of children: children harbor more germs than the bugs we're tasting today.  If you can keep them sitting and not hovering, breathing into the mis-en-place, we'll have an enjoyable afternoon.  And he handled the squirrelly kids better than their parents did!)  He then outlined the role of bugs in food--the bugs we don't think we're eating (think peanut butter), the bugs that we don't know about which are supposed to be there (think natural ingredient, red food coloring), and the bugs that various cultures around world consume for their nutritional value.

Then the fun began.  Asking for volunteers to cook the food, and other volunteers to taste the food, "we" cooked and ate Tempura Mealworms, Panfried Scorpion, Orthopteran Orzo, and Grasshoppers on a skewer.  My wife was the only volunteer to eat all of her Mealworm (I am so proud of her!) and the Scorpion I had tasted like soft-shell crab.  In fact, I can't wait to go scorpion hunting when I have the chance.  I can envision it in a nori roll (think Spider Roll, literally) or with rice and beans served Southwestern style.

Ok--so entemophagy is a little extreme and I doubt it will become a regular part of our diet, but I don't think we're going to shy away, either. 

Adventure has been a regular staple of my spiritual diet for as long as I can remember.  Culinarily speaking, I include it in increasingly regular intervals.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Tonight we're eating vegetarian, with a twist. 

Creamed Dock (or Cream of Wild Greens)

Sourdock is a wild leafy vegetable (aka, weed) that grows plentifully in open fields across North America.  The leaves are best in spring when they are young and tender.  Caution: as with all wild plants, good identification and good growing conditions are essential.  Many plants have natural or pesticide/herbicide toxins that can be harmful (or worse!) if swallowed.  When in doubt, avoid it.

2 pound young fresh Dock leaves, rinsed, blanched twice and thick stems removed

2 tablespoons Butter

1 Leak, tender white part chopped and greens reserved for something else

1 clove Garlic, minced
Salt & Pepper
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground Nutmeg
1/2 cup Heavy Cream

Boil the leaves for 2 minutes, then strain, pressing out any extra water.  Chop thoroughly and set aside. 

Melt the butter in a sauce pan (medium high heat) and saute the leak and garlic until they are tender and starting to turn translucent.  Add the greens and cook, stirring regularly until they start to give off moisture.  Add the seasonings and cream and continue to cook, stirring occasionally until the cream is reduced and thickened to how you like it. 

Serve hot with as a side for almost any Southern comfort food!

The Gauntlet Has Been Thrown

Ok.  I recognize you deserve better.  I'm embarassed.  There is shame in our household, and I am the reason. 

The last blog, while answering important questions I've been asked, got . . . well . . . boring.

But in every challenge comes opportunity.  I have been dared--no, DOUBLE DOG DARED--to go vegetarian.

Not entirely vegetarian.  We'll eat eggs and dairy, and red meat, chicken and fish each once a week. 

We recognize that we don't eat as well as we might.  Please understand that we don't eat as poorly as many, but we hold ourselves to a very high standard.  ( We throw away less than 1 cubic foot of trash per week.  We compost everything compostable.  And most vegetable peelings and scraps get boiled down to a broth before they get composted.)  We tend to eat venison or elk when the previous hunting season was successful.  But we don't do veggies the way we should.  Can I cook meatless dishes with the same enthusiastic creativity?

I'd like to think so. 

So here's the rules:  Sunday, Wednesday and Friday (can be changed with Saturday) are meat nights.  Every other night, a meat product can be used as seasoning, but not the featured course. 

Further updates as events warrant.

A veggie dinner.  And a side dish.
Mediterranean Eggplant Casserole

1 Eggplant
2 tablespoons Olive Oil
2 cloves of Garlic, pressed
1 Onion, chopped
5 Anchovies
1 28 oz can Crushed Tomatoes
1 cup sliced Mushrooms
dried Basil and Oregano, to taste
2 tablespoons of Olive Oil
8-10 large leaves of Kale or Swiss Chard
Kosher Salt
Ground Black Pepper

Peel the eggplant and slice into 1/2 inch rounds.  Sprinkle both sides lightly with salt and place on a cooling rack over a paper towel.  Let stand for 20-30 minutes.  (This takes a lot of the bitterness out of the eggplant.)

In a heavy skillet, heat the olive oil to medium hot (the oil should move like water over the bottom of the pan).  Add the pressed garlic and the anchovies and with a fork, crush and stir into a paste.  Add the tomatoes, mushrooms and herbs.  Stir to combine and reduce the heat to a simmer. 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cut the center stalk out of center of the leaves and chop into 2-3 inch pieces.  In another skillet, heat the other 2 tablespoons of olive oil to very hot.  (The oil moves faster than water and is just strating to smoke.)  Put into the hot oil with a sprinkle of salt.  Toss quickly with tongs until evenly wilted.  Remove from the pan to paper towels on a plate. 

When the sauce is slightly reduced, and the eggplant has released some of its moisture, begin assembly.  Spray a 9x13 casserole dish with some kind of antistick spray.  Lay down 1/2 of the sauce and then a layer of the kale.  Place the eggplant slices evenly over the sauce, sprinkle lightly with black pepper, then add the remaining kale, and top with the remaining sauce.  Dust with a hefty layer of grated parmesan cheese.  Bake for 20 minutes or until the cheese is a deep golden grown and the sauce is bubbling. 

Let stand for 10 minutes and serve with a nice white wine.  Try Yard Dog.


Sauted Brussel Sprouts with Roasted Fennel and Gorganzola

a dozen or so firm Brussel Sprouts
1 bulb of Fennel Root
Olive Oil
Salt and Pepper
Bacon Fat
1/4 cup of the stinkiest Gorgonzola Cheese, crumbled

Slice the end root stub and the leaves and woody stalks off the fennel.  Slice it lengthwise into 6 wedges.  Place into oven-proof skillet, drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with salt.  Roast at 400 degrees for 17 minutes.  Remove from the oven and let cool. 

Slice the ends off the sprouts then slice them vertically (tip to stem).  Melt a tablespoon of bacon fat in a heavy skillet.  Add the sliced sprouts, add salt and pepper, reduce heat to medium high and saute until the interior leaves are nicely browned.  Chop the roasted fennel and add to the saute.  When everything is hot, remove from heat, put into serving dish and sprinkle with the cheese. 

Bon Appetit!