Honestly, This Isn't a Midlife Crisis

I wrote my "bucket list" when I was 15, but the movie hadn't been made yet, so I called it my "list of things to do before I die."  Some things I wanted at 15, I don't want anymore.  I don't want to be a famous actor in the movies: I really don't like people enough to appreciate all the fans I would have.  I also don't want my own island: No one needs their own island and although I don't like the crush of humanity every day, I would get lonely.  Some things on the list I probably won't ever accomplish because technology and my own motivation won't allow for it.  For example, I probably won't be walking on the moon.  And some of those joys on the list I accomplished quickly, some took a little longer, and some are still going to come true.  I eat fire.  I learned Spanish, French and Chinese languages (although I'm very rusty in speaking any of them now).  I am a chef--at least in my own way. 

I have realized recently, however, that I have many more things in my life to do.  Therefore, I have started a new list:

MY NEW LIST OF SOMEDAY AWESOME ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Travel is on the list.  I want to visit each continent, and except for Antarctica, I want to meet the local folk in the smaller towns.  I want to taste their cuisine and know the regional comfort foods.  (In Antarctica, I want to see the Emperor Penguin from a safe enough distance to not disturb Morgan Freeman.) 

I want to be able to do chin-ups again.  Without assistance.

I'm learning to pick locks.  Since I regularly lock myself out of things with locks, this should be immensely useful to me. 

I've become an ordained minister so I think it would be grand to perform a wedding ceremony.  And maybe a funeral.  Or an exorcism. 

I will have a secret identity and post Urban Exploration adventures under that alias. 

I will accept more dares, but only if there is a greater chance of the dare resulting in fun for me rather than tragedy.  Unless the tragedy also is likely to be fun, then it's Game On!

I will have my own television show.  (Crap.  Now I have to get prepared to have hoards of fans, again.)

If I ever give up being a financial advisor, I will be a butcher.  Or a bounty hunter.  (Picking locks and speaking foreign languages should come in handy.)  (Wait.  I meant, "Probably handier for bounty hunting."  I don't know if animals speak Spanish, French or Chinese.  And since most of them don't have opposable thumbs, I don't think they are negotiating keys too well.)

I want a pencil thin moustache.

I still want to go to outer space.  Richard Branson should be able to help me out. 

And I think I need to be less bashful when it comes to trying new foods.  I really need to get out of my rut.

With that in mind,  here's a fun little recipe.

Poached Baby Octopus for Dessert
1 1/2 cups Port
1/4 cup Sugar
12 Baby Octopus (5" tentacle diameter)
Sugar and Cinnamon mixture (2:1 ratio Sugar to Cinnamon, shaken together in a jar)

If they aren't already, have your local fish monger clean the octopus and remove the beaks.  Rinse them thoroughly.  Heat a large pot of water (6 quarts) to boiling.  Add the octopus and let simmer for 10 minutes.  Drain and put the octopus into an ice water bath to stop them from cooking.  

When the octopus have chilled, rub them gently under running water to remove the outer skins.  Don't worry if you can't get all the skin off--just get most of it. 
In an electric skillet (so much easier to control the temperature), heat the port and sugar until it boils and the sugar dissolves.  Reduce to a simmer and add the octopus.  Cover and simmer on the lowest setting for 2-3 hours, turning them over every now and then to cover all sides evenly.  Yes, they turn slightly rubbery, but that is what octopus is made of: God's old inner tubes.  And yes, the port turns the octopus purple, but that's a natural color for them.  The flavor changes to something wonderful, however.  Magical, even. 

When you are getting close to eating, remove them from the port and let drain.  Place them in a large bowl and sprinkle the octopus with cinnamon and sugar, tossing to coat them evenly.   Serve with fresh sliced strawberries and a scoop of French vanilla ice cream.