Yeast Food and Bacteria Poop

I have a confession to make. I really like Dungeons & Dragons. It feeds the storytelling part of my life. I like solving problems and discovering what’s around the next corner. I like killing monsters. And I love having superhero-like abilities through magic. Not up close card tricks, but big magic. Conjuration, transformation—the ability to create something out of nothing, and to turn that something into something even more exotic. 

Fermentation does just that. From seemingly nothing, growth begins. What could be spoiled food—a culinary mistake, something common sense tells us should be thrown out—transforms foods we love. We’re talking about yeasts and bacteria and the outcomes of fermentation. 

I planned to build off that catchy hook of a title and sound brilliant. I’m not a scientist but I love knowing a little bit of science then feeling very smart when I talk about it with people at parties. It makes me fun and interesting to be around. No, really. (Many men like to be terribly smart and show off whenever we have the chance. It’s peacocking our brains.) Since I am not a scientist however, you should do your own research about the chemical goings on fermentation. Just google it. There’s a lot of information on the internet, as it turns out.  

But here’s what I do know: food is sometimes kinda gross. You don’t want to know what’s in your sausage, nor in a lot of other foods. Honey is basically “bee vomit” (bees have a nectar stomach). Alcohol and naturally sparkling beverages are yeast and bacteria “poop.” Naturally occurring yeast (which are a kind of fungi) break down sugars for the bacteria which continue the process of fermentation. Gasses and alcohol are the waste products of our friendly yeast and bacteria. The pleasing sour taste we enjoy in some of our foods happen when the bacteria keep going and the consume the alcohols too. I think. (Damn. I’m really trying to sound smart. Just google it.)

I present to you here a few fermentation projects and a promise that more will follow.

We looked at Sourdough in the last post. Sourdough uses naturally occurring yeast to ferment the gluten in wheat flour. It’s a natural leavener that helps bread rise. For thousands of years, people enjoyed puffy bread without the availability of packaged yeast. Here’s another recipe I like.

Sourdough Pancakes

2 cups All Purpose Flour

2 tsp Baking Powder

1 tsp Baking Soda

1 tsp Salt

2 tbsp Sugar

1 1/2 cups (plus more if needed) Whole Milk, although I prefer Buttermilk (I’ve used low-fat either one and it works fine)

1 Egg, beaten

1/4 cup Canola Oil (or other good cooking oil)

1 cup Sourdough Starter (fed, or “ripe,” means that it has eaten all the flour and may now be a bit runny)

Mix all of the dry ingredients in a medium bowl. 

Mix all of the wet ingredients in a large bowl. The starter may not want to mix well with the other wet ingredients. Keep stirring until it nearly does.  

Add the wet mixture to the dry ingredients and mix by hand until combined. YOU MAY NEED TO ADD MORE MILK. Depending on the flour (and relative humidity in the air, maybe the time of year, your height, weight and/or color of your hair...it still confounds me), the mix may be too stiff to start off. Do not panic. Just add more liquid. The mix will still be thick—not like cement, but more like a thick pancake mix that you have to scoop out rather than pouring it. 

Cook on a medium hot skillet. I start the first one with a little butter in the bottom of the pan, but I use well seasoned, non-non-stick pans. Cast Iron is great. The first pancake is always the wildcard. It should be a very tall rise. Tear it down the middle and taste it. If it’s good eating, then eat it. If not, make couple of adjustments. If it’s soggy in the middle, you’ll want to turn the heat down just a touch and cook the pancakes a little longer.  Soon you’ll be a pro. 

Serve it however you like your pancakes. If you’ve only ever had syrup on your pancakes, try them with sour cream and chives. Or with a sausage gravy. 

I’ve been making kombucha for a few years now. Fermentation enthusiasts make grand claims of the benefits of various fermented foods, and some claims have a scientific foundation. Good bacteria aid in gut health, especially after some kind of disruption, like taking a broad spectrum antibiotic. Antibiotics are anti-bacteria and it’ll take out the bad stuff that made you sick as well as the good stuff that helps keep you well. Kombucha, kimchi and yogurt are good for your belly bacteria. With kombucha, I’ve really enjoyed playing with flavors and experimenting with secondary fermentation. Here’s a little about getting started.

Kombucha

A Symbiotic Culture Of Bacteria and Yeast is essentially the starter for kombucha. It ferments the sugars in the liquid it sits in. People have fermented a variety of juices, but I haven’t tried it, yet. I’ll let you know when I do. I use tea and that seems to be most common.

The easiest way to make your own SCOBY is to buy a bottle of raw kombucha. Plain is best for it’s simplicity. Brew a gallon of very strong tea. I bring 4 quarts of regular old tap water to boil in a big pot. When it boils, turn the heat off. Stir in one cup of sugar until it’s fully dissolved. I use plain old white cane sugar. Then add 6 tea bags. You can use pretty much any black tea to get started. Plain old Lipton’s is fine.  Let it rest until the tea has come to room temperature. 

When it cools enough, pour it into a large glass jar with a wide mouth. I use a 2 gallon pickling jar. Pull the teabags out and pour the store-bought kombucha into the tea. Cover the jar with layers of cheese cloth or muslin. You want air to get in, but you want bugs to stay out. Put it a dark room temperature room and ignore it for two weeks. I label my kombucha batches with start dates on masking tape. After about 2 weeks the tea should have a layer of rubbery snot floating on top of it. That’s the SCOBY! You did it. If things go sideways on you and it smells funny or there’s patches of mold floating on it, dump it. If it smells vinegary, it’s good. If it smells like the sandwich that’s been in the work fridge for a week too long....throw it away. Clean the glassware again and start over.  If you’re still uncertain, have someone else taste it. If they die, then you know.  

As much as it doesn’t look like it, this is good kombucha.  And a very healthy SCOBY. 

When you have a SCOBY you like, make more strong tea in the same way as above. This time, however, use the SCOBY and 1 cup of the last batch of fermented tea instead of the store bought. Pour it back into the jar, return it to its corner of the room and ignore it for another 10 to 14 days. If you like your kombucha tart, let it rest for a full 2 weeks (or more if you really like that kind of thing). Less tart? Only 10 days. This is your drinking batch. Strain it and pour it into airtight bottles and pit it into the refrigerator. Cutting off the air and cooling it stops the fermentation. If you want bubbles in your kombucha, add a little honey to the kombucha before sealing the bottles and leave it at room temperature for a day of so before putting it in the fridge.  

Finally, I am starting Vinegar! Super simple so far, but it’s still working and I’m still experimenting. The good news: I’m not poisoned. I’m still alive. Therefore, I’ll keep writing and I hope to have good vinegar news next time.