Caution: Children Playing

We had a little family reunion this weekend.  It was the first time all 3 siblings and all of our families could be in attendance, because it was the first time we've all been together since my nephew was born.  I learned a LOT about children, and a little about myself.   

My niece is almost 3 years old.  We'll call her Milly.  My nephew, lets call him Baxter, was just learning to crawl, so I think that makes him somewhere between 5 and 7 months old.  Certainly less than 1 year.  And since he was born sometime in 2010, I think that's a pretty safe guess. 

Now, my niece and nephew are the most beautiful children in all the land.  Not at all lizard-like.  Additionally, they are exceptionally well behaved--unless they want something.  Then, the otherwise sweet and demure children scream like banshees.  I also now know that these two are always in some state of undress: When Baxter was completely dressed, Milly would be peeling off her pants.  Milly likes to be completely dressed for dinner, but Baxter needs to be in his all-together. 

Milly is very fond of the lime light--if she's singing and you're not paying attention, well . . . attention must be paid.

I learned that kids can be very finicky eaters, but that they will also put anything in their mouths.  I learned that kids can swing from laughter, to screaming, to laughter again in a matter of moments.  I learned that my Mom really likes being a Grandma. 

More than anything else, I learned that my younger brother and his wife are great parents. 

I get to be a great uncle.  Who teaches the kids inappropriate behavior.  And maybe a little cooking. 

For meals this weekend, we enjoyed:

Aussie Burger

This is my brother's award-winning recipe based on a recipe found in Gourmet magazine.  This is another case of taking a good idea and making it better.  Side note: I'm not sure why it's called an Aussie Burger.  Unless you believe the Australians enjoy things larger than they need to be (think: cans of Foster's Beer) or you think they are a sloppy nation.  But I don't think that's fair.  Shame on you, you racist.

1/2 lbs Hamburger Patty

Toasted Hamburger Bun

1 leaf Lettuce

1 slice of Tomato

3 medium Green Chilies, roasted and skins removed

2 slices Pickled Beets

1 slice Pineapple, grilled

1 Egg, fried, over easy

2 tablespoons Chili Aioli

Grill the burgers to your liking.  Toasts the buns.  Assemble.  Eat it as best you can.  Use lots of napkins. 

Salt Crust Roasted Chicken
10 lbs Rock Salt (coarse sea salt is fine but very expensive.  Ice cream salt also works well and is much cheaper.  Just be sure it's a kind that you can eat, and not a poisonous de-icer for sidewalks.)

1 Frier Chicken (3 lbs) 

1 large sprig Thyme
6-7 large leaves Sage
3/4 teaspoon Ground Black Pepper 

About 2-3 hours before cooking, completely rinse the chicken, inside and out.  Pat it off with paper towels, season inside and out with pepper, and let stand to dry.  (Like we did in the Duck recipe.) 

About 1 hour before cooking, put the salt in a deep baking pan and put it in the oven set to 400 degrees.  Salt is a rock and can withstand very high heat.

About 10 minutes before cooking, stuff the herbs into the body cavity of the bird and truss its legs and body closed.  Clip or tuck its wings.

When the salt is heated all the way through, remove 2/3 - 3/4 into another large metal bowl.  BE CAREFUL!  With a wooden spoon or paddle, even the salt back out over the bottom of the pan.  Lay the bird in the middle of the salt and then pour the hot salt from the bowl over the bird.  Completely cover the chicken.

Put the pan back in the oven, reduce the temperature to 350 degrees and cook for an hour and 30 minutes. 

By this time most people are thinking, "Great idea!  I've completely ruined this chicken by dumping 10 pounds of salt on it."  Not so, good reader!  Allow me to lay a little science on you: Drying the skin and heating the salt allows the cooking to begin without dissolving the salt into the water in the meat.  As the meat heats up, steam escapes and there is a subtle interplay of steam dissolving small amounts of salt and the chicken taking on the perfect amount of seasoning.  If the salt grows to too high of a concentration, the steam from the cooking meat forces it back out again!  Ain't science great?

Pull the pan out of the oven and let it rest for 10 minutes.  Carefully brush the salt away until you come to the hard crust.  Gently crack through with a heavy knife handle and let some of the steam escape.  You should be able to then remove the rest of the crust with your fingers.  This will be the juiciest, most tender and most perfectly seasoned roasted chicken you've ever tried.  One word of caution, however.  If the salt grains are too fine, you may have to discard the skin and only eat the meat beneath. 


Sausage Gravy
1lbs of Pork Sausage (plus up to 1 tablespoon bacon fat)
3 tablespoons All Purpose Flour
Salt and Ground Black Pepper, to taste
3-4 cups Milk

In a heavy skillet, on medium high heat, brown and render the fat out of the sausage.  Drain the sausage, reserving the fat and the drippings in the skillet.  There should be about 3 tablespoons of fat.  If not, add additional bacon fat to the pan, reduce the heat to medium and lightly sprinkle in the flour, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon or wire whisk. 

Keep stirring until the roux darkens to a deep chocolaty, caramelly brown.  Reduce the heat to medium low.  Slowly add the milk, stirring the entire time.  If you aren't using a wire whisk, yet, do so now.  Pour in 3 cups of milk and keep stirring as the roux dissolves into the milk.  Season with salt and pepper.

Stir and stir.  This is an exercise in patience and love.  When the milk begins to boil (15 minutes or so) there won't be that raw flour flavor.  Let it cook and start to thicken.  If the gravy gets too thick, add more milk.  If the gravy is too thin, let it cook a little bit longer.  It will thicken.  As it starts to cool, it will thicken more.  Don't forget to scrape the bottom and the sides of the pan.

About 5 minutes before serving, taste and finish seasoning with salt and pepper.  Add the sausage to the gravy and stir.  Serve on top of buttermilk biscuits.