The All-American Diet: Not Quite a Love Story

I visited my doctor recently. "High cholesterol."  Now this isn't anything new.  I have tested high before and my family has tradition of gluttony: a tradition so rich and deeply fried that I firmly believe that it and it alone contributed to the girth of my family tree.  So, when I asked how high, he said, "Really high. Too high. If 'too high' was a number, you'd be that plus a lot more." So I asked him what the number was, and he was dismayed by my response: "That's great! That's a lot better than last time!"  My grandparents lived to old ages in spite of their culinary (and other) habits, my parents are doing well and I feel strong as a horse.  Honestly, I think of myself as a 17 year old--at least until I start working out.  Then I feel every day of my 41 and 3/4 years.

I share these traits to a greater or lesser degree with nearly every American, so it's by no surprise that the FDA has proposed restaurants post calorie counts on their menus.  Now, before we have the good/bad discussion, lets look at a few of the socioeconomic and dietary factors that contribute to American health concerns. 

Most recent health studies that show up in the popular media focus on childhood and adolescent nutrition.  The Department of Health and Human Services states that adolescents who are obese have an increased risk developing all sorts of problems, from the obvious horrors of diabetes and heart disease to subtle yet pervasive problems like asthma, orthopedic distress and depression.  In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control, diabetes causes more deaths in the US than the better research-funded breast cancer, prostate cancer or colon cancer.   Lack of exercise, eating away from home and little variety in diet appear to be the main contributors to childhood obesity.  Unfortunately, based on an article the science journal Nature, the children most at risk also have the least hope changing their circumstances.

Wow.  What a depressing paragraph. 

Fortunately, recent movies such as Fast Food Nation, Super Size Me and Food, Inc have increased our awareness of the dangers we face.  (Judge them for what they are: sensationalistic yet provocative.)  Activists like Michelle Obama and Jamie Oliver are working around the clock to find solutions. 

So given what I just laid out, it seems natural that there should be calorie counts on menus.  But I see another economic catastrophe coming.  Restaurants will give up changing their menus.  No daily specials.  No seasonal variations.  The recipes will have to be tested and tirelessly maintained.  And sadly, as has already been proven by posting nutritional information on candy bars and soda, people who want to consume junky food will consume it regardless of nutritional value.  If I'm right, we'll see less variation of restaurant food and no real reform of food and eating habits.  Pity.

On the bright side, simple home cooking could increase.  And I'm looking for another doctor--one who is less judgemental.

For something simple tonight, try: 

Bread, Redux

This is a simple recipe for a hearty loaf with a dense crumb.
1 1/4 lbs of Bread Flour
1 1/2 teaspoons Salt
1/4 cup Sugar
2 1/2 teaspoons Active Dry Yeast
1/2 cup Warm Water (to proof the yeast)
2/3 stick of Unsalted Butter
1/2 cup Milk, plus up to 3 tablespoons more, as needed

Dissolve the yeast in the warm water and wait for it to froth up.  Combine the dry ingredients in a heavy bowl.  Mix in the yeast mixture, butter and 1/2 cup of milk.  Stir into a shaggy mass.  Add the remaining milk a tablespoon at a time until the dough comes together as a dry rough mass. 

Lightly dust a workspace and start kneading.  Knead until the dough comes together as a smooth ball. 

Let it rise for an hour or until it's doubled in size.  Punch it down until it's almost back to its original size.  Shape it into whatever shape you want to bake it, and place it on a cookie sheet or in a loaf pan.  Heat the oven to 400 degrees and let the loaf rise again.  When the oven comes to temperature, bake the bread for 30 minutes.  Remove it from the oven and take it off the cookie sheet or out of the pan, as appropriate.  Put it on a cooling rack to stop cooking as fast possible.  

It's going to smell incredible, and if you are like me, you'll want to cut into it immediately.  Don't!  Let it rest for for an hour to cool. 

For variation, replace the milk with beer, coffee, beef broth or even diluted wine or whiskey.

All the Sexy, Without That Silly Gilligan

From almost as early as I can remember, two things have aroused my attention like nothing else.  The first was fine food and drink.  The second was redheads.  Today, I fill my life with as much of the former as my wallet and liver will allow.  The latter, however . . . .

Born in 1969, I spent my formative years watching such afternoon and Saturday morning educational gems as Tom and Jerry (take away: mice are smarter than cats), School House Rock (learning is fun with rhythmic music and easier with simple pictures) and Gilligan's Island.  The very beautiful, very leggy and very sexy Tina Louise played the very sultry Hollywood starlet, Ginger Grant.  Oh, Tina--the criminal effects you had on this poor eight-year old boy should have landed you in jail.  I discovered hormones in the midst of your breathy words whispered into Gilligan's ear.  (Looking back on it now, I understand why I felt an uncontrollable need to press my crotch against the hard arm rest of the sofa.  As an eight year old, I couldn't really express it in words; and gratefully to all, I couldn't yet express it in other ways.)

I learned that Ginger represented all that was sexy, spicy, exotic and even a little forbidden. 

Her namesake, the rhizome ginger, shares all of her best qualities without me having to abuse the furniture.  Medicinal, culinary and horticulturally, ginger provides numerous benefits.  It's flowers are stunning and given the right conditions, are easy to grow.  Eating ginger (not Ginger) treats the symptoms of many forms of nausea including motion sickness and morning sickness.  But it is in cuisine that ginger really commands attention.  Add the juice to rice while cooking for a pleasant aroma and tingle on the tongue.  Add ginger beer or ginger ale to a beverage to make it even more refreshing.  Add slices, shavings or diced ginger to meat or vegetarian dishes for an Asian flair. 

Ginger is best when it's peeled and because of its fibrous texture, either grated, juiced or cut up very fine.  It's also inexpensive.  Buy it fresh at nearly any supermarket.  I recommend against buying the dried powdered ginger sold in the spice aisle as the flavor of dried ginger disappears within a month or two of grating it.  And because ginger is quite fiery, it pairs well with sweet ingredients. 

I have grown up a lot since the mid-70's.  Tom and Jerry isn't as entertaining as I once thought, and mice are really pretty dumb (but then, so are cats).  School House Rock is even better now.  Gilligan's Island became the giant on whose shoulders other television shows stood (MacGyver and Seinfeld owe a debt of gratitude).  And although Ginger is still hot, the furniture is now safe.  BTW, my lovely wife has dyed her hair red.

For breakfast this morning, I made:

Cinnamon Pancakes with Apple and Ginger
1 cup All Purpose Flour
1/4 cup Sugar
2 teaspoons Baking Powder
1/2 teaspoon Salt
1 teaspoon Cinnamon
1 Egg, beaten
1 1/2 tablespoons Butter, melted and cooled slightly
3/4 cup milk
2 tablespoons finely diced fresh Ginger
1 large sweet Apple (I used a Fuji), peeled and finely chopped

Mix all the dry ingredients together in a large bowl.  Mix the liquid ingredients together in another bowl.  Add the liquid to the dry ingredients and mix by hand until combined.  Add the apple and ginger and stir until evenly distributed. 

Cook on a medium hot skillet as you would other pancakes.  Serve hot with butter and Ginger Maple Syrup.


Ginger Maple Syrup
1 can Ginger Ale
1 tablespoon fresh grated Ginger
1/2 cup Dark Maple Syrup

In a large, open sauce pan on medium high heat bring the ginger ale and grated ginger to a light boil, stirring constantly.  Add the maple syrup.  Bring back to a light boil, stirring constantly, then reduce the heat to a simmer.  Continue to stir regularly until the syrup mix is reduced by half. 

Remove from the heat and let cool slightly. 

This would also be great on ice cream.

Oops and Opportunities

When caught in an absolute whirlwind of life, I tend to unwind in the kitchen.  And boy have I been creative in the kitchen this past month!  Here are a handful of things I've been working on: 

Lavender Bitters

Winter Vegetable Bake

Greek Stir-Fry

Chicken Soup Pot Pie

Crepes

. . . and few dishes that were just OK to flat out bad.  (My darling bride and kitchen-mate was thoroughly unimpressed by Tilapia and Shrimp in an Orange Cream Sauce.)

Ask me how I recover from a bad recipe experiment. 

Well, after some minor embarrassment and scraping of dishes into the compost, I think back to where I went south.  More often than not, it was the wrong amount of one ingredient, the improper cooking temperature or a bad guess on cooking time (the last two can generally be summed up as "awful texture.")  If the principles of the dish are sound and I can identify the problem, I will try it again with tweaks.  On the other hand, if my panel of expert taste-tester (see "darling-bride and kitchen-mate" reference, above) suggests that I should abandon the dish altogether, I drop it like the proverbial rotten potato it might be.  I have thereby successfully avoided repeats of the Sesame Fried Tofu incident, the Scallops Encrusted in Tapioca Flour, or the dreaded Fried Squash Blossoms with Fish-Paste Filling.  (DON'T JUDGE ME!)

Now and then, however, one of those mistakes becomes serendipity.  Overcooking can lead to caramelization which can be delicious when everything else works out.  Too much of one spice can create a new emphasis on the palate.  And cooking something too long and at too low of a temperature can concentrate flavors and make everything a little more bold.  Here's a couple of near mistakes we've decided are worth keeping. 


Greek Stir-Fry
We emptied a family member's refrigerator of all the perishables that might perish before they return from vacation.  We combined the ingredients with a few things I had in our kitchen and then I cooked it way too quickly on too high of a temperature.  With a little doctoring, here is the happy result.

2 tablespoons Canola Oil
6-8 large stalks of Kale, de-stemmed and chopped (I used 5 stalks of Bok Choy (with stems) instead)
8 large Mushrooms, sliced
1/4 of a medium Onion, chopped
1 teaspoon of dried Oregano
1/2 cup Greek Yogurt
juice of 1/2 Lemon
1 brick of Firm Tofu, drained and cut into 1 inch cubes
1/4 cup crumbled Feta Cheese

Heat a wok or deep skillet on high heat for 90 seconds.  It may start to smell like a hot skillet.  That's good.  Add the canola oil and wait for 30 seconds.  Swirl it around and add the kale, mushrooms and onion.  Let rest for 10 seconds, then flip it around with a spatula.  Saute for 2 minutes on very high heat, then add the oregano, yogurt, and lemon juice.  Get it hot again.  Add the tofu, stir and remove it from the heat.  Sprinkle with Feta cheese and serve over couscous.  Or rice.  Or left over polenta like I did.


Lavender Bitters
This started off as Cucumber Bitters, but that didn't work out AT ALL!  But it did make really great lavender bitters.

750 ml Everclear
1 12 inch English Cucumber sliced
8 oz dried Lavender blossoms
6 oz dried and crushed Orange Peel
40 drops Gentian Root Extract

Combine all the ingredients in a clean jar.  Shake every 2 days.  Filter thorougly and rebottle.  Use sparingly whenever an herbal punch is needed.

The Party for the Event That Must Not Be Named

Every year there exist 2 days which celebrate all things gluttony.  Thanksgiving ranks #1 for sheer food consumption, and is indeed my favorite holiday, but the day of the National Football League Championship is a close numero dos and you don't usually have all those pesky vegetables to get in the way.  (The title of said Championship is copyrighted and therefore cannot be used without permission.  And since I am entirely promoting myself and in no way have an interest in waiting for NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to get back to me on this, I'll be providing alternative descriptors that I hope catch on.)  (And if this is successful, I'll have a go at the Mouse That Must Not Be Named and the Sort of Checkmark Logo for Shoes and Other Sports Apparel That Must Not Be Named.) (And as a third aside, unrelated except that it points to the remarkable nature of "ownership," everyone in the world will have to change our email accounts or pay royalties.)

As you may recall from last year, we went to a new Super Concave Vessel Party .  Like Moses going to the Promised Land, we journeyed for what seemed like 40 days, and then came upon a land of plenty, complete with mana falling from Heaven (funny story, our hostess actually did drop a key lime pie from her heavenly hands, so to compensate she made two more pies by halftime).  Joy filled our hearts and taste buds.  But we had no idea of what to expect and as a result we were not prepared. 

So this year things have changed.  We are still driving for forever (it's worth it), but for this Uber Bowl Party I'm making Duck Sliders and wearing expandable pants.

. . . . . . . . . .

Post §º¤ Bowl Party:  Green Bay has won, Cheeseheads celebrate in snow-covered streets and I am once again uncomfortable with how much I had to eat.  The generosity of our hosts continues, as you can see from the pictures below.  But the Duck Sliders were well received.

 

Duck Sliders

1 large Duck (Pekin is preferrable)

1 teaspoon ground Black Pepper

For the Brine:

approximately 1 1/2  gallons of Water
3 cups Salt
1 California Bay Leaf (or 2 Turkish Bay Leaves)
2 tablespoons each, Whole Cloves, Juniper Berries, Allspice, all lightly crushed
1 can of Cola

Combine the ingredients for the brine and stir until the salt is completely dissolved.  Rinse the duck thoroughly and submerge it in the brine.  Let stand in a cold place (35 degrees), overnight. 

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.  Remove the duck and rinse it well, inside and out.  Pat dry with paper towels.  Season with black pepper, inside and out.   

Roast the duck on an elevated rack in a roasting pan for 1 hour.  When the skin is crispy, pierce it with a sharp fork or point of a knife.  Flip the duck in the rack and drain the liquids from inside the body cavity.  Roast for another 2 hours.  Prick the skin again, flip and drain, as before.  Increase the heat to 400 degrees and roast for 30 minutes to crisp the skin (to aid in easy removal).

Let the duck cool completely and remove the skin.  Tear the meat from the bones and shred by hand or with forks.  Combine with a sauce of your choosing, heat and place in warmed and buttered dinner rolls or slider buns.  Serve hot.


Homemade Duck Sauce
2 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons Honey
all the containers of sauces that we collected from the Chinese food delivery we still had in the fridge
1/4 cup Mae Ploy Sweet Chili Dipping Sauce
Cider Vinegar, as needed

Melt the butter in a saucepan set to medium high heat and add the honey, stiring constantly.  Add the other sauces, stirring and tasting.  If needed, add vinegar. 

Stir until the flavors have combined.

The Berlusconi

Like the beverage's namesake, this little gem is sweet, sour, bright in flavor, dusky in color and moody in temperament.  It'll charm the women and punch any man in the face.  Get ready for a Bunga-Bunga party!

The Berlusconi
3 oz Whiskey
1 oz Sweet Vermouth
3 dashes Frenet
3/4 teaspoon Elsa 12-year Balsamic Vinegar
Lemon Twist

Combine the liquid ingredients with ice in a cocktail shaker.  Shake vigorously for 30 seconds.  Strain into chilled cocktail glass.  Garnish with a lemon twist. 

Caution: Children Playing

We had a little family reunion this weekend.  It was the first time all 3 siblings and all of our families could be in attendance, because it was the first time we've all been together since my nephew was born.  I learned a LOT about children, and a little about myself.   

My niece is almost 3 years old.  We'll call her Milly.  My nephew, lets call him Baxter, was just learning to crawl, so I think that makes him somewhere between 5 and 7 months old.  Certainly less than 1 year.  And since he was born sometime in 2010, I think that's a pretty safe guess. 

Now, my niece and nephew are the most beautiful children in all the land.  Not at all lizard-like.  Additionally, they are exceptionally well behaved--unless they want something.  Then, the otherwise sweet and demure children scream like banshees.  I also now know that these two are always in some state of undress: When Baxter was completely dressed, Milly would be peeling off her pants.  Milly likes to be completely dressed for dinner, but Baxter needs to be in his all-together. 

Milly is very fond of the lime light--if she's singing and you're not paying attention, well . . . attention must be paid.

I learned that kids can be very finicky eaters, but that they will also put anything in their mouths.  I learned that kids can swing from laughter, to screaming, to laughter again in a matter of moments.  I learned that my Mom really likes being a Grandma. 

More than anything else, I learned that my younger brother and his wife are great parents. 

I get to be a great uncle.  Who teaches the kids inappropriate behavior.  And maybe a little cooking. 

For meals this weekend, we enjoyed:

Aussie Burger

This is my brother's award-winning recipe based on a recipe found in Gourmet magazine.  This is another case of taking a good idea and making it better.  Side note: I'm not sure why it's called an Aussie Burger.  Unless you believe the Australians enjoy things larger than they need to be (think: cans of Foster's Beer) or you think they are a sloppy nation.  But I don't think that's fair.  Shame on you, you racist.

1/2 lbs Hamburger Patty

Toasted Hamburger Bun

1 leaf Lettuce

1 slice of Tomato

3 medium Green Chilies, roasted and skins removed

2 slices Pickled Beets

1 slice Pineapple, grilled

1 Egg, fried, over easy

2 tablespoons Chili Aioli

Grill the burgers to your liking.  Toasts the buns.  Assemble.  Eat it as best you can.  Use lots of napkins. 

Salt Crust Roasted Chicken
10 lbs Rock Salt (coarse sea salt is fine but very expensive.  Ice cream salt also works well and is much cheaper.  Just be sure it's a kind that you can eat, and not a poisonous de-icer for sidewalks.)

1 Frier Chicken (3 lbs) 

1 large sprig Thyme
6-7 large leaves Sage
3/4 teaspoon Ground Black Pepper 

About 2-3 hours before cooking, completely rinse the chicken, inside and out.  Pat it off with paper towels, season inside and out with pepper, and let stand to dry.  (Like we did in the Duck recipe.) 

About 1 hour before cooking, put the salt in a deep baking pan and put it in the oven set to 400 degrees.  Salt is a rock and can withstand very high heat.

About 10 minutes before cooking, stuff the herbs into the body cavity of the bird and truss its legs and body closed.  Clip or tuck its wings.

When the salt is heated all the way through, remove 2/3 - 3/4 into another large metal bowl.  BE CAREFUL!  With a wooden spoon or paddle, even the salt back out over the bottom of the pan.  Lay the bird in the middle of the salt and then pour the hot salt from the bowl over the bird.  Completely cover the chicken.

Put the pan back in the oven, reduce the temperature to 350 degrees and cook for an hour and 30 minutes. 

By this time most people are thinking, "Great idea!  I've completely ruined this chicken by dumping 10 pounds of salt on it."  Not so, good reader!  Allow me to lay a little science on you: Drying the skin and heating the salt allows the cooking to begin without dissolving the salt into the water in the meat.  As the meat heats up, steam escapes and there is a subtle interplay of steam dissolving small amounts of salt and the chicken taking on the perfect amount of seasoning.  If the salt grows to too high of a concentration, the steam from the cooking meat forces it back out again!  Ain't science great?

Pull the pan out of the oven and let it rest for 10 minutes.  Carefully brush the salt away until you come to the hard crust.  Gently crack through with a heavy knife handle and let some of the steam escape.  You should be able to then remove the rest of the crust with your fingers.  This will be the juiciest, most tender and most perfectly seasoned roasted chicken you've ever tried.  One word of caution, however.  If the salt grains are too fine, you may have to discard the skin and only eat the meat beneath. 


Sausage Gravy
1lbs of Pork Sausage (plus up to 1 tablespoon bacon fat)
3 tablespoons All Purpose Flour
Salt and Ground Black Pepper, to taste
3-4 cups Milk

In a heavy skillet, on medium high heat, brown and render the fat out of the sausage.  Drain the sausage, reserving the fat and the drippings in the skillet.  There should be about 3 tablespoons of fat.  If not, add additional bacon fat to the pan, reduce the heat to medium and lightly sprinkle in the flour, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon or wire whisk. 

Keep stirring until the roux darkens to a deep chocolaty, caramelly brown.  Reduce the heat to medium low.  Slowly add the milk, stirring the entire time.  If you aren't using a wire whisk, yet, do so now.  Pour in 3 cups of milk and keep stirring as the roux dissolves into the milk.  Season with salt and pepper.

Stir and stir.  This is an exercise in patience and love.  When the milk begins to boil (15 minutes or so) there won't be that raw flour flavor.  Let it cook and start to thicken.  If the gravy gets too thick, add more milk.  If the gravy is too thin, let it cook a little bit longer.  It will thicken.  As it starts to cool, it will thicken more.  Don't forget to scrape the bottom and the sides of the pan.

About 5 minutes before serving, taste and finish seasoning with salt and pepper.  Add the sausage to the gravy and stir.  Serve on top of buttermilk biscuits. 

This Is What It's Like When Worlds Collide

Green Russell. 

The name evokes a variety of questions: "What's that?"  "Who is that?" and "Did you say 'Green Muscles?'  I love mine in a nice white wine sauce."

But for those who know, the name Green Russell means a lot more. 

Imagine a cold winter's night:  The lights of the Big City reflect off the newly fallen snow.  We exit the cab and walk down an alley way to follow the signs to a pie shop.  Holding onto the frozen handrail, we cautiously descend a flight of stairs into a small pie shop store front.  Through another set of doors and we are in a warm, cozy, softly lit speakeasy.  But even for the costumes and ambiance, the real magic is yet to be revealed.

We give our names for the reservation and the hostess escorts us to our seats.  We pass low leather chairs with high seat backs in intimate little nooks.  There are no conventional tables as you would expect if you only ever visited chain restaurants or bars.  In fact, the hostess seats us in a prime location: the bar. 

Green Russell is "a chef driven cocktail joint."  We have Chris, our bartender, and share him with only two other couples while we're there.  Unusual to any bar, Chris is back lit by a large grow room, and while Colorado allows commercial growing of marijuana for medicinal use, I recognize the herbs growing in this grow room as something different: rosemary, thyme, oregano, Thai basil and lemon and lime trees. 

As IS usual at any great cocktail joint, the staff is warm and inviting.  Witty banter ensues.  The menus are presented and yes, there are some cocktails listed.  But we know better.  I tell Chris, "I put it in your hands.  I like scotch and bourbon--leather, smokey, woody flavors.  I make my own bitters at home, so I enjoy herbs and aromatics."

And then he made magic.

Each drink is custom created for the client's taste.  A bespoke cocktail, if you will.  From a time when "cocktail" meant something. 

We ordered house made potato chips with bleu cheese.  My brother had a layered drink of Bowmore 10 year Scotch, Fernette Branca and Absinthe.  I started off with a little number they called the George C Skag:  bourbon, black pepper simple syrup, cardamom bitters and lemon juice.  My wife enjoyed the most conventional drink: The Mile High Club--gin, yellow chartreuse, egg whites, and . . . other magic.  We each had three drinks that night, plus food and coffee.  I'll be honest with you.  The recipes got fuzzy.  Or maybe the recipes stayed the same and we got fuzzy.  Regardless, we had an incredible time.

When you go to Green Russell, there are a few rules you need to know.

1. No cell phones.  No calling, no texting, no checking in on Foursquare, no pictures.  The staff abides by this rule, and you will too.  Relax.  You will enjoy it.
2. The customer is always right.  The people who are taking care of you love you.  Love them back.
3. You will pay for the privilege.  Perfection isn't cheap.  It's not excessive, but the value is exactly as it should be.  And don't forget to tip. 
4. Take a cab.  If you have enjoyed yourself appropriately, you should not drive.    Everyone will love you more for being smart.

So this is what it's like when old and new come together.  Retro attention to detail and modern stylings.  I would love to show you pictures, but . . . see Rule #1. 

And Chris, thank you.  Very much.

Tonight, for a pre-dinner cocktail try:

Cloister
1 1/2 oz Gin
1/2 oz Yellow Chartreuse
1/4 oz Lemon Juice
1/2 oz Grapefruit Juice
1/4 oz Superfine Sugar

Shake with ice and strain into a cocktail glass.  Garnish with a lemon twist. 


Man of War
1 1/2 oz Bourbon
1/2 oz Sweet Vermouth
1/2 oz Cointreau
1/4 oz Lime Juice

Shake with ice and strain into a cocktail glass.  Garnish with a lime twist.


Samurai
1 oz Triple Sec
1 oz Vodka
1 oz Sake
1 oz Lemon Juice

Pour over ice in a highball glass and stir.